part 5

So the former foreigners in the land that was foreign to them, but home to the original nomads who became the former nomads, some of whom then became the original Xns who then came the land of the former foreigners, who were natives in their native land, decided that since they had found a way to co-opt the cosmic ET of the Xns, who were formerly of the former nomads who were formerly the wandering desert nomads, who went on to become a popular rock band, that, in order to simplify the nomenclature somewhat, they were entitled to call themselves Xns.

Hominids often seem to like to give themselves a new name every time they put on a new hat. This irritated the first Xns, who felt it only fair to point out that the new Xns hadn't actually signed the contract brought by the carpenter. This made for a little awkwardness, but the new Xns knew how to sort this kind of thing out, because they were the same folks who had been the boss of everyone on the planet that they knew about or could get to on foot. They valued expediency and preferred simple solutions so they just stuck something sharp in the first Xns and their juice ran out and then the new Xns were the only Xns and everything worked out quite nicely thank you, problem solved.

Now the new Xns, or rather, the only Xns, weren't about to make the same mistake the former nomads had made. The former nomads had irritated a lot of people by going around telling them how their club was the best one, but nobody else could get in. So of course, the other people were always giving them wedgies and telling them to push off.

The new Xns, I mean, the Xns, on the other hand, knew nothing if they didn't know how to go about increasing their membership, whether other people wanted to join or not. The advantages of this approach, which had apparently escaped the attention of the former nomads, are that the more members you have, the more membership dues you can collect, and the more dues you collect, the more you can spend on increasing the tensile strength of your metals and forging complex social, political, and military institutions aimed at making you the boss of everyone, which then leads to increased capacity for successful Fall membership drives, and, well, you can see what happens.

So the, ah, Xns had been able to co-opt the most powerful cosmic ET there was, without having to persuade the former nomads to let them in, or sign the contract the carpenter had made, and they still had the all their sharp pieces of metal, their recipe for revenue enhancement, and their thirst for conquest. The only thing left to do was legitimize their claim to being close personal friends with the carpenter, and this was easily accomplished by giving the boss of the Xns his power of attorney, since the carpenter was dead and nobody could ask if this was OK with him. Being the boss of the Xns turned out be a very important job, so he got to have his own special name and wear a very fancy hat.

This is where the Xns had it all over the former nomads. When the Xns went places and asked people if they were personal friends of the carpenter, everyone agreed or the Xns would stick something sharp in them, and in either case they were going to lose their lunch money, so it seemed a wise choice just to say that they too, were personal friends with the carpenter, or at least willing to obey to the death the boss of the Xns, which is what they really meant. And before long the Xns were the boss of everyone on the planet they knew about, or could get to on foot. Hominids, it seems, don't really change very much, but they do like to have a new hat every once in a while.

What is very interesting about this entire process is that, at virtually the same time, virtually the same thing was happening on a part of the planet the Xns didn't know much about, and could hardly get to on foot. On the other side of the place where the carpenter lived, just as far away in the other direction as the place where the former foreigners, now native, new Xn, Xns were, lived people with a similar interest in technology, social organization, and conquest, who by this time were calling themselves the Mms.

They had heard of the carpenter, however their difficulty with the contract issue was very neatly avoided altogether when there appeared a man who told everyone that he too, was a close personal friend of the old nomad's cosmic ET and he had come just to straighten out any misunderstandings about what the carpenter had said. Sticking people with sharp pieces of metal was OK he said, in fact, could be quite a good idea sometimes, as long as they were wearing a different hat, and he then went on to say many other interesting and popular things that caused him to be highly regarded and embraced and invited to all the right parties even though no alcohol was served instead of being tortured and executed like the carpenter. Or so the Mms who said he said so said, it's hard to say. Whether he said so or not we can't say, but saying he said so was all the Mms needed to say he said, in order to get started on their own Fall membership drive.

It was only a matter of time before the Xns and the Mms ran into each other. It happened when they both went home for Xmas.