part 15

Ok, back to work.

Nah, I want to see the tape first.

I remember wanting to smack the security guy.

I know, I know.

No, just start it there.

Hmm.

No, hang on . .

Wow.

Wait a minute . . !

It’s not?

How the fuck . .

No, I want to see it again . .

Amazing.

Not surprising. Nothing he does . .

Actually, I did. I was that far gone.

Really? I want to see it.

Sure. Whenever.

Ok, here comes the cavalry . .

I know, I’m sorry.

No, really, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what to say.

I know, it was fucked up, but I was somewhere totally . . I don’t know.

Yeah, Carly told me.

At that very instant . .

Jeezuz.

How did something that fucked up work out that great?

No no.

No, not just then. In some ways it was worse before that. I kinda became part of it all in order to survive it. I can’t begin to tell you what I was going through. But I’ll tell you this, I’m restored. I haven’t felt this strong and clear since before the Sudan. And I’ll tell you something else. I know I’ve returned to a world that is still insane, a world in total chaos and dealing with two billion rotting human carcasses, but I’m not going back there, I’m not going to do that to myself again.

Well, if I’d known that three days sleep would work this well, I’d have gotten Martin to prescribe whatever it would have taken to get it.

Oh, thanks.

Holy shit . .

Revolver dust. Amazing.

Shit, it’s so fine . .

Did you weigh it?

Well, there you go.

Yeah, I know. It’s like he froze me before he was fully resolved, but he needed to be materially complete to bust the gun.

I guess he doesn’t need his hands.

It wasn’t that gentle but I’m sure grateful. That’s a concrete floor.

It was weird to watch.

I know, I can’t stop fooling with it. It’s finer than talc, but it’s so heavy.

Feels kinda greasy.

Shit, I don’t need it all.

Maybe some little vials or something.

I don’t know. Let me think about it.

Not this morning. It’s a magnificent day. I feel great. The Hammer hasn’t killed a single person since he decided not to kill me to keep me from killing me. I just spent an hour in the arms of the woman I’ve been in love with for months but haven’t been able to touch before now. I had . .

I know, she told me about that, I wondered how I got so clean and fresh while I was unconscious, I only wish I could remember it.

Well, my face time with the Hammer, but maybe it’s a good thing I don’t.

Anyway, I had a nice breakfast that after three days was easily the best thing I’ve ever eaten. And now I’m going up on the roof with Dawn to lie in the sun for a little while. Then I’m going to have lunch. Then I’m going to come back down here and we can talk about what the fuck we can do to make ourselves useful in a world that has become a horror worse than any fucking hell any of us could ever have imagined.

Hey, just because I’m rested doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten who I am and what’s going on here. He’ll be back. And I have a plan.

C’mon, can’t it wait a couple hours?

Hell yes.

Look, if you really have to, I’ve got something . .

You sure?

Ok. Find me a nuke.

Really.